When your parent drew you into their chaotic emotional world, your developing mind blurred the lines between where they ended and you began 🤷‍♀️. You learned to anticipate their moods, manage their feelings, and sacrifice your own needs to keep them regulated. But this rewired something fundamental at your very core: your nervous system learned that it was *part of another*, that to be loved and protected meant having "two hearts beating as one". Instead of developing as a separate and well-differentiated individual who is respected and cared for by another, your nervous system became part of an `undifferentiated parent-child emotional system`. As a result, you became *incredibly empathetic, emotionally intelligent, attuned to others, and deeply romantic.* Your ability to read people and provide comfort is genuinely remarkable 💪. But this `emotional fusion` with your parent came at the cost of losing part of your identity and creating *profound confusion* about who you are without your *other half*. This was one of the earliest and most foundational wounds a person can experience—it literally rewired your capacity for love connection at the most basic level 🧠.<br><br>Now as an adult, you swing between two extremes: either you completely merge with your partner, losing yourself in their needs and emotions, or you build your walls sky high because true intimacy feels suffocating 🧱. With some partners you desperately chase after their attention—with others you turn distant—shutting yourself down emotionally. At times *you attract narcissists* who feel familiar to you from your childhood 💔. At other times, you swing in the opposite direction and begin acting like a narcissist yourself—as an ill-judged attempt to establish some boundaries in your life. Love feels like either total surrender 🤗 or complete control ✊, because from very early on you were never modeled what healthy boundaries between parent and child actually looks like.

Tools & Learning

Reviews for "Lost in Boundaries "

Share Your Experience