Your earliest lessons taught you that love must be earned through service—that simply existing wasn't enough to receive it. You became incredibly `attuned` to others' needs and skilled at anticipating how to be helpful. This makes you a genuinely valuable friend and partner 👍. Your ability to show up for people is real and beautiful. But this came with a painful cost: you learned to *confuse love with being valuable*. If someone doesn't need what you have, you wonder why they'd be interested in you. The deep `insecurity` about not having what others may want haunts you. Your earliest experiences taught you that care comes from what you do for people, not from who you are. You've absorbed the lie that simply being present isn't enough. The truth is people can love you just for being you.

The Love Earner

Chronic illness or disability in the family

Parental favoritism toward other siblings

Pressure to do things correctly / the right way

Pressure to perform at school, sports, arts

Sibling with severe mental health disorders

Siblings with health or behavioral issues

Tools & Learning

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