Traumadater

😶‍🌫️ Lost in Boundaries: When healthy boundaries feel impossible

Signs you might relate to this dating style:

  • You feel anxious when your partner seems fine without you

  • You take on other people's feelings like they're your own

  • You forget what you like when you're not focused on someone else

  • You feel most loved when people need your help

  • You get scared when someone wants time alone

  • You keep finding people who need looking after

  • You disappear in serious relationships

  • You feel bad for wanting things from others

How it started:

  • You had to take care of a parent's feelings when you were young

  • People only praised you when you helped them feel better

  • There was no line between your feelings and your parent's feelings

  • You learned love means becoming one with someone else

  • No one asked what you needed when your parent was upset

You attract:

  • The Drain: Takes all your care but isn't there for you

  • The Echo: Copies you so much you both get lost

  • The Trouble Magnet: Always has problems you need to solve

  • The Slippery One: Your help never comes back to you

Who you're drawn to:

  • The Wall: Their distance makes you try harder to connect

  • The Disappearing Act: Shows interest sometimes, then pulls away

  • The Smooth Talker: Says all the right things but takes more than they give

  • The Broken Wing: Needs saving but can't give you what you need

Core pattern:

  • You pick people who need your help so you don't have to face your own needs

What healthy attraction looks like:

  • Partners who like your care but can take care of themselves

  • Relationships where you can be close but still be yourself

  • Fights that don't mean you have to give up what you want

  • Time apart that feels normal, not scary