Living with unpredictable crises taught you to become a mood detective 🕵️, constantly scanning everyone's emotional weather to spot the next fire 🔥 and extinguish it. You learned to read micro-expressions, voice tones, and body language like a roadmap - this acute awareness helped you intervene early, defuse situations, and keep your family from complete meltdown. Your ability to *stay chill under pressure* and anticipate problems before things blew up, became your greatest strength and protective shield 🛡️. <br><br>But now this creates a chronic `rescuer role`—you can never turn off your emotional smoke detector. You suppress your own emotions to stay ready for the next crisis, struggle to relax even in safe spaces, and feel responsible for preventing your partner's every possible problem. This gives you purpose and validation.<br><br>The cost? Your ability to put out other people's fires comes at the expense of being disconnected from your own needs and *confusing validation with love*. Deep down, being loved for who you are—not what you do—feels impossible.

The Fire Extinguisher

Parent with anorexia and eating disorders

Parent with borderline personality disorder (bpd)

Parent with extreme paranoia, delusions, or conspiracy beliefs

Parent with obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd)

Parent with self-harm or suicidal behaviors

Parent with undiagnosed or untreated personality disorder

Tools & Learning

🧯 The Fire Extinguisher

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