Traumadater

🚗 The Passenger: When going along for the ride is the only option

Signs you might relate to this dating style:

  • Your mind goes blank when asked "What do you want?"—even about small things

  • "Whatever you prefer" feels safer than voicing preferences

  • Conflicts make you shut down rather than speak up

  • Equal relationships feel like being handed controls to a plane you never trained to fly

How it started:

  • Caregivers treated independence like reckless rebellion

  • You learned love meant being "easy" (aka silent)

  • Making choices started feeling dangerous

  • Letting others decide became your safest option

You attract:

  • The Life Planner: Loves arranging your schedule without asking

  • The Rescuer: Needs you to play helpless so they feel important

  • The Backseat Driver: Complains about deciding but panics when you try

Your body relaxes when they take charge—that familiar relief tricks you into thinking this is safety

Who you're drawn to:

  • The Decisive Charmer: Their confidence feels magnetic—until they dismiss your ideas

  • The Parent Partner: Treats you like their "sweet helpless thing"

  • The Control Freak: Their rules feel comforting... until they don't

You mistake being managed for being cared about—like confusing a leash for a lifeline

Core pattern:

  • You protect yourself by staying passive, but this keeps you from discovering how capable you truly are

What healthy attraction looks like:

  • Partners who pause and say "I'll wait" when you freeze up

  • Small choice practice: "You pick the movie this time"

  • Someone who loves your hesitant "Maybe I want..." more than your automatic "You decide"

  • Relationships where "I don't know" gets "Let's figure it out together"