Traumadater

📺 The Politician: When being seen feels like being exposed

Signs you might relate to this dating style:

  • You change how you act depending on who you’re with

  • First dates feel like job interviews where you’re the perfect candidate

  • You panic when someone says, “I want to know the real you”

  • Your social media looks nothing like your private life

  • You’re great at reading what people want to hear

  • Being vulnerable makes you feel like you’re losing control

  • You hide family secrets or past struggles at all costs

  • "Average" feels like failure in relationships

How it started:

  • Love felt conditional growing up—you had to perform to get approval

  • Showing real feelings got you laughed at or punished

  • You were the family's "PR manager" for appearances

  • You learned to watch others’ faces for clues about how to act

  • There were things about your family you could never tell anyone

  • You discovered early: “The real me isn’t acceptable”

You attract:

  • The Image Collector: Loves how you look together but doesn’t ask deeper questions

  • The Fixer: Wants to “rescue” you from your facade but can’t handle your truth

  • The Fellow Performer: Recognizes your game but plays their own version

  • The Status Seeker: Values your polished exterior but ignores your inner world

Who you're drawn to:

  • The Radical Truth-Teller: They say whatever they feel—you crave their freedom but fear their honesty

  • The Unshockable Listener: Seems safe for secrets but their calmness feels suspicious

  • The Flawed Charmer: Messy but lovable—their obvious imperfections highlight your own hidden ones

  • The Image Junkie: They only want your highlight reel, making your real self feel worthless

Core pattern:

You’re the world’s best actor—hired for every role but never truly cast as yourself

What healthy attraction looks like:

  • Partners who notice when you’re performing and gently call it out

  • Relationships where “I don’t know” is an acceptable answer

  • People who love your messy stories more than your perfect ones

  • Connections where being seen doesn’t mean being judged