😶‍🌫️29-Question Emotionally Distant Or Unavailable Parent Quiz: What's Your Trauma Dating Style?

Growing up, your feelings and needs were ignored or dismissed so often that you learned they didn't matter. No one was there when you needed comfort.

As a child, you never knew what mood your parent would be in—loving one moment, distant or angry the next.

Growing up, you were emotionally homeless—no lap to crawl into, no voice that said "I've got you."

As a child, your first instinct was to hide your hurts—a reflex of "Don't bother asking. They'll just make it your fault."

As a child, you became fluent in reading others' moods while remaining illiterate in your own needs.

You witnessed how hurtful people could be and vowed never to be like them.

There was no real physical intimacy between parents in your house—people just played their part.

You struggle to know what you're feeling or needing, since no one helped you understand or validate your emotions growing up.

Growing up, your parents' love depended on their mood—forcing you to constantly earn even basic attention that should have been freely given.

You often obsess about people who have hurt you long after they're gone from your life, replaying conversations and thinking about what you should have said and done differently.

In your family, chaos felt more normal than unknown peace.

You hated your family's patterns, but feared you'd become just like them anyway.

Growing up, you automatically put aside your own needs whenever someone else seemed upset or uncomfortable.

You learned early that keeping everyone else happy was more important than what you wanted.

As a child, it felt safer to be self-reliant than to need others—disappointment hurt less when you didn't expect support.

In your family, your feelings caused problems, so you hid them deep.

As a child, you stayed loyal to people who hurt you—because they were your family.

Your parents neglected your needs, but you looked after theirs.

At home, your feelings didn't matter, only your ability to soothe others.

Growing up, dating and love meant extremes—obsessing over some people, rejecting others.

Love came with strings attached from the people who were supposed to care for you unconditionally.

When you were little, sometimes the only way to get attention was to make it impossible for adults to ignore you.

You kept hoping your family would change, but they never did.

Your parents were physically present but emotionally unavailable - you had to work extra hard to get your needs met.

Your siblings seemed to get what they needed more easily, so you had to find different strategies to get noticed.

You were told you were 'too needy' or 'demanding' when you asked for things directly.

Your needs were only addressed when they became a problem for the adults.

Asking for things directly was often met with 'not now' or 'later' that never came.

You had to compete with your siblings for limited attention/resources.