Avoidance and Emotional Withdrawal

Chaotic Attachment and Push-Pull Dynamics

Conflict and Protest Behaviors

Dismissing Red Flags

Dissociation and Shutdown Responses

Fear of Abandonment

Hypervigilance and Scanning for Danger

Partner Testing, Distrust and Fear of Betrayal

Poor Boundaries

Reality Distortion

Role-Playing and Identity Loss

Scarcity Mindset

Self-Sacrifice and Love Earning

Social Unbelonging

Trauma Sexuality

When leaving feels safer than arguing

Always Ready to Leave

From Outsider Child to Toxic Partners as Adult

Drawn to the Margins

Expecting Everyone to Leave

When nowhere feels like home

Guest in Your Own Home

The Chameleon

From Marginalized Child to Hypervigilance in Relationships

The Social Radar

Body Guarded

Body That Learned to Leave

Body That Remembers Hunger

From Touch Trauma to Frozen Sex

Body That Remembers What You Forgot

Sex as a Movie

Sex as a Transaction

Sex as Violence

From Medical Trauma as Child to Sexual Disconnection as Adult

The Dissociate

All or Nothing Walls

From Narcissistic Parents to Codependent Adult

Lost in Boundaries

Resisting Quick Closeness

The Emotional Absorber

The Accommodator-Fighter

The Advocate

When Your Feet Decide Before Your Heart Does

The Runner

The Vanishing Act

The Volcano

Carrying the Weight of Being the One Who Lived

Living with Premature Knowledge

Rehearsing Goodbye

Terrified of Abandonment

Braced for Independence

From Hot-and-Cold Parents to Push-Pull Relationships

Come Here, Go Away

Guarding Against Heartbreak

Keeping One Foot Out the Door

Loving and Hating Intensely

From Abusive Parents to Trauma Bonding Adult

Loyal to Your Abusers

From Unpredictable Parents to Chaotic Partners

No Playbook for Dating

From Inconsistent Parents to Chasing Unavailable Partners

Same Dance, Different Partners

From Attention-Starved Child to Crisis-Bonding Adult

The Drama Magnet

The Love Ledger

Whiplashed in Relationships

Wired for Crisis

Blind Spots in Plain Sight

Guided by Voices from the Past

Hypnotized to Believe You're Damaged Goods

Living in Ancestral Shadows

Reading Between the Lines

From Shaming Parents to Anxious Partners

The Citadel

From Gaslighting Parents to Reality Bending Relationships

The Gas Leak Detector

The Rebel

From Neglectful Parents to People Pleasing in Relationships

The Accommodator

The Also Ran

When taking care of your partner feels like being loved

The Caregiver

The Empath

The Fighter

The Fire Extinguisher

The Hero

The High Achiever

The Invisible Child

From Problem Child to Relationship Fixer Adult

The Lightning Rod

The Love Earner

From Golden Child to People-Pleasing Adult

The Mirror

From Controlled Child to Dependent Partner

The Passenger

The Peacemaker

From Perfectionist Parents to Relationship Performance

The Performer

From Image-Conscious Child to Double-Life Dating

The Politician

The Rescuer

From Neglected Child Trauma to Feelings Avoidant Adult

The Stoic

The Triangles Expert

Hair Trigger Alert

Living in Fight-or-Flight

From Criminal Family Child to Dangerous Partners as Adult

The Outlaw

From Toxic Parents to Hypervigilant Relationships

The Radar Always On

Wired for Survival

Always Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

From Discrimination as Child to Trauma-Bonding as Adult

The Outsider

When silence feels safer than truth

The Secrets Keeper

From Betrayed Child to Trust-Avoidant Adult

The Skeptic

Wounded by Betrayal

Growing up in a family where love came with *invisible price tags* taught you to become a master relationship mathematician 🧮. You learned to track every emotional transaction because survival meant understanding the hidden economy of affection in your home. This `hypervigilance around relational give-and-take` made you incredibly *perceptive about fairness* and skilled at reading the unspoken contracts in relationships.<br><br> But now you find yourself compulsively keeping score, *waiting for bills to come due* even in genuinely unconditional connections. You measure love by tangible currencies—gifts and favors, time and availability, touch and sex, words and orgasms—rather than by deeper intimacy of true understanding and connection. Part of you never stops bracing for the moment when someone who's been giving generously will finally *present their emotional invoice*—while simultaneously keeping your own careful ledger, ready to *call out every instance of your partner's non-reciprocation* when your resentment reaches its breaking point.

Family with rigid roles and no tolerance for autonomy

Other family members living together with you

Parent estranged, cut-off from their parents, family, siblings

Parent with conflicts with both sides of the family

Parent with conflicts with their side of the family