Signs you might relate to this dating style:
You always check if new partners would call the cops on your family
You're attracted to people with criminal pasts who "get" your world
Stable relationships feel fake or like you're betraying your roots
Friends worry you tolerate too much danger in relationships
You feel most connected when sharing illegal family stories
You avoid dating people who work normal jobs or have clean records
You make excuses for partners' illegal behavior
You feel like you and your partner are "outlaws together"
How it started:
Police took family members away instead of protecting you
You learned early that authorities make things worse, not better
You found safety with other "street" people who understood the rules
You attract:
The Criminal Confidant: They need your street wisdom to validate their choices, but their lifestyle keeps you in constant legal danger
The Undercover Tourist: They romanticize your background for authenticity thrills, but will bail when consequences get real
The Reformed But Not Really: They claim to have left the life but still test your loyalty to old codes
Your nervous system relaxes around these partners because they prove your survival math works - they'll never make you choose between safety and betrayal
Who you're drawn to:
The Ride-or-Die Criminal: They'll never call the cops, but their lifestyle keeps you in constant danger
The "Reformed" Bad Boy/Girl: They claim to have left the life but still romanticize it
The Fascinated Outsider: They're drawn to your "street cred" but will bail when things get real
You mistake shared secrets for real trust, and safety for "selling out"
Core pattern:
You believe safe people will turn you in, so you choose loyalty over safety
You create deep bonds through shared secrets, but this keeps you in danger
What healthy attraction looks like:
Someone who's been through it but chose a safer path - they get it without repeating it
Partners who protect you without making you choose between safety and loyalty
Relationships where you don't have to hide your past or glorify it
People who respect your roots but won't take you back to dangerous places