Traumadater

🪨 The Stoic: When feeling nothing feels safer than feeling too much

Signs you might relate to this dating style:

  • Partners say they can never tell what you're feeling

  • You pride yourself on "not being emotional"

  • When upset, you get quiet rather than share

  • Physical symptoms (headaches, tension) appear instead of emotions

  • You prefer solving problems to discussing feelings

  • Crying feels dangerous or shameful

  • You dismiss your own needs as unimportant

How it started:

  • Your feelings were ignored or punished as a child

  • Showing emotion only made situations worse

  • You learned to parent your own emotions

  • Needs were treated as burdens

  • The message was clear: "Feelings = danger"

You attract:

  • The Emotion Miner: Constantly tries to "dig up" your feelings

  • The Fixer: Wants to "help" you open up whether you want to or not

  • The Drama Magnet: Their big emotions let you avoid your own

  • The Taker: Appreciates your stability but exploits your inability to set emotional boundaries

Who you're drawn to:

  • The Open Book: Their emotional expression fascinates you

  • The Therapist: Promises to help you "get in touch with your feelings"

  • The Storm Cloud: Their constant drama keeps focus off you

  • The Project: Someone you can help rather than examine yourself

Core pattern:

  • Your childhood survival strategy (emotional shutdown) now prevents the deep connection you secretly want

What healthy attraction looks like:

  • Partners who give you space to open up without pressure

  • Relationships where small emotions feel safe to share

  • People who appreciate your strength but check on your heart

  • Connections where needs don't feel like burdens

  • Love that values your quiet as much as your words