Signs you might relate to this dating style:
You dissociate during physical intimacy without meaning to
Medical settings or procedures trigger intense physical reactions
You alternate between ignoring your body and hyper-focusing on sensations
Partners say you "disappear" during sex or physical closeness
You feel safest when you can mentally leave your body
Touch sometimes feels invasive even when wanted
You have better sex with people you don't care about
Your body often feels like it belongs to someone else
How it started:
Childhood medical procedures violated your bodily autonomy
You learned your body could be invaded without consent
Dissociation became your primary survival strategy
You attract:
The Body-Oblivious Partner: They're so focused on their own pleasure they don't notice when you mentally leave
The Overwhelmed Caregiver: They need someone who won't add more emotional demands to their overloaded life
The Trauma Collector: They're fascinated by your medical story but treat your body like a broken object to fix
The Performance-Focused Lover: They care more about technique than connection, perfect for your dissociation
Your nervous system relaxes around these partners because they prove your survival math works—they'll never demand you stay present in your body
Who you're drawn to:
The Confident Embodied: They move through the world like their body belongs to them, but their physical ease triggers your deepest envy and fear
The Fellow Body-Trauma Survivor: They understand your dissociation perfectly but reinforce that physical presence equals danger
The Sensual Healer: They promise to help you reconnect with your body but their touch-focused approach feels like medical procedures 2.0
The Emotionally Unavailable: Their distance lets you stay dissociated while still feeling "in relationship"
You mistake their inability to see your disconnection for "respecting your boundaries"—but really, they're just not paying attention
Core pattern:
You believe physical vulnerability leads to violation
You create safety through dissociation, but this prevents true intimacy
What healthy attraction looks like:
Someone who notices when you disappear but doesn't force you back
Partners who ask permission before touching instead of assuming consent
Relationships where you can practice being present in small doses
People who celebrate your body reconnection without shaming the disconnect
Connections where emotional intimacy doesn't require physical presence